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Stonecutter’s song
Who controls the British Crown?
Who keeps the metric system down?
We do. We do.
Who keeps Atlantis off the maps?
Who keeps the Martians under wraps?
We do. We do.
Who holds back the electric car?
Who makes Steve Guttenberg a star?
We do. We do.
Who robs cave fish of their sight?
Who rigs every Oscar night?
We do. We do.
Number One.
In one episode of the half-hour animated series, The Simpsons, Homer Simpson is initiated into the Springfield chapter of the Stonecutters.
Seen clearly in a wall hanging is a masonic square and compasses [00:06:55] while close to it hangs an eye in a triangle. One shot of the fraternity’s charter again shows the square and compasses and an eye in a triangle [00:08:45] while an external shot of their meeting hall shows a large eye over the entranceway. [00:11:05]
The initiation ceremony was closed with the proclamation: “the Sacred Order of the Stonecutters has, since ancient times, split the rocks of ignorance that obscures the light of knowledge and truth… now let’s all get drunk and play ping-pong.”
Led by “Number One”, members wore red robes and called each other by the numbers they received when initiated. Homer, number 908, was elected Grand Exalted Leader after it was discovered he bore a birthmark shaped like two hammers, marking him as the “Chosen One”. Membership in the 1,500 year-old fraternity was attained by either being the son of a stonecutter or by saving the life of a stonecutter. Initiation involved the “Leap of Faith,” a blindfolded five-storey plunge… in reality the edge of a stage. After the faux plunge, there are three rituals: “Crossing the desert”, “the Unblinking Eye”, and “the Paddling of the Swollen Ass”. The first may be a reference to the Shriners while the second may refer to the all-seeing eye.